Age gaps can be divine.
I am a mom of five, which means we have a significant age gap between our eldest and our youngest. Yes, we did plan for all five children, but that’s a topic for another day. Our eldest was 8 ½ years old when our caboose baby was born last April. As a planner, a worrier, and someone who has bouts of anxiety, I had worrisome thoughts that the age gap might be an unwelcome complication in our family.
What if we couldn’t get our almost 9-year-old to all of the activities he wanted to attend?
What if the baby needed to be nursed and started badly fussing when we were at a double-header for our seven-year-old?
What if our five-year-old got too envious of the new baby and started acting out?
What if I simply couldn’t be enough for all five children and couldn’t tend to all of their individual needs?
I’m here to say, that age gaps can be divine.
Embracing the Unknown
We are a full-fledged family of seven, and all of the above worries were-indeed- valid. All of them happened. But let me tell you, the beauty of that chaos far outweighs the hardships.
So, if you’re on the fence simply worrying about the age gaps or the demands of having many children, I’m here to tell you that I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Perhaps you’re worrying that your first child is getting older by the minute and you’ve experienced multiple miscarriages and are worried they will be too far apart in age to play together or relate.
Perhaps you’re surprisingly pregnant at 41 and your oldest is now in high school.
Perhaps you’re a mom of multiples and your heart yearns for just one more baby, but you are doubting that ‘starting over’ is something your family should have to endure now that you’re out of the sleep-deprived and difficult newborn and toddler years.
Perhaps you have frozen your eggs and are scared to do the IVF because your oldest is already in school and it feels like another baby would interrupt the flow you’ve settled into.
Perhaps you’ve been waiting for an adoption for years and years and you’re worried it’s just too late now.
I’m just here to say that age gaps can be divine.
The Family Dynamics
Here lies the beauty in it all.
Our baby is loved beyond belief. Her four older siblings love her SO hard that sometimes it’s smothering, even to me. It’s comforting to know she will always have older siblings to help guide her along the hardships that life throws at us.
Our older kids have learned responsibility innately as they watch us tend to the younger ones. We tread the line carefully as our older kids are just that – kids– but also allow them to help us feed the baby, get us a diaper to change her, and carry her when she is fussy. It empowers them and shows them that giving of their love provides safety for their little sister and brother.
Yes, in our situation with an age gap due to multiple children, we have to divide and conquer quite frequently. It means sometimes mom and dad can’t both be at all the games, especially with sports seasons coinciding; but, it teaches them that we will always be at everything we can, and having those conversations up front has eased our feelings of guilt.
Our older kids gush at being able to introduce their little siblings at their school events. The neighborhood kids have become like older siblings to our little ones, too.
Our older kids remember cool events, such as baptisms and first-birthday parties for their younger siblings that they don’t remember of their own. Being able to have conversations about these after the fact has been so fun!
I’m just here to remind you: Age gaps are divine.
