Friends Saved Me From the Brink: Lessons in Showing Up

I walked into my house, shoulders tight from a day of teaching teens. My Prince was chauffeuring our ballerina and soccer player that afternoon.

I looked across the house hoping to relax, but the dishes piled in the sink, laundry stacked high on the couch, dust and dog hair covered surfaces. The mess of my home screamed at me:

“You should work harder to take care of your house.”
“I can’t believe you let your children live like this.”
“Will you ever be able to stay on top of things?”

The previous weeks had been harder than most. I had been under a tight, two-week writing deadline, taught at a writing conference, made a 10-hour round trip drive to Miami for my daughter’s ballet audition, and my son and I were both recovering from the flu. All in addition to my full-time job as a teacher.

I sighed and did what any crazed, sleep-deprived, 21^st century mom would do. I snapped a few photos, posted them with a cheeky comment to Facebook, and climbed into a bubble bath hoping to escape into oblivion.

I had tried to remain light-hearted online, but in reality, I was at a breaking point.

The moldy toilets were real. Flu recovery was slow. The stress was heavy. But you’ve been there. You know.

You know how life moves on. Even if you don’t want it to.

We need to show up, mommas. Our acts of kindness may be what our friends need to breathe another day.

Let’s show up together.

Shall we?

The next day was like all the others. Teaching and working and mothering. Same stress, different day. But when my daughter and I returned home, it didn’t take long to realize something had changed.

I walked in the door, and my house was spotless.

An anonymous note and a gift card for dinner sat waiting on the table. Tears filled my eyes. Friends had seen through my lighthearted Facebook post. They had seen the real me, gripping the cliff’s edge by my fingernails.

Friends had cleaned my house.

Their anonymous act of service saved me from falling into the abyss. It reminded me I was loved. I was seen. I wasn’t alone. My stress didn’t magically disappear, but somehow the burden became a bit lighter.

Their kindness overwhelmed me.

Mommas? This is what it means to show up. To love each other. To support each other in the dark days and the hard hours.

The experience humbled me. It made me wonder if I show up for people. Do I help others through their hard days? Do I take the time to look through the social media veil and notice when my friends are barely hanging on?

Do I attempt to care?

It made me ask what can I do to show up? Because it doesn’t have to be cleaning someone’s house. It can be a dinner, a cup of coffee, a card in the mail, a drive by visit. Sometimes it takes far less effort than we believe to show up for our friends and other struggling moms.

And sometimes?

It takes great effort. It can take the rearranging of life or hours of extra work. Showing up? It takes time. It takes energy.

But aren’t people worth it? Aren’t we worth the blessing and the saving?

Because those momma friends who cleaned my house? They saved me from the brink. They kept me from sinking deep.

We need to show up, mommas. Our acts of kindness may be what our friends need to breathe another day.

Let’s show up together.

Shall we?