Giving Up The Perfect Life


When my first baby was born, I envisioned the perfect life we would have. I knew I was heading back to work, but I was sure I could do it all.

My certainty started to waiver long before my maternity leave was over. I was so tired, I wasn’t sure how much longer I could hold on — and that was just a few days after we returned home from the hospital.

As months passed, I realized I’d been sold a bill of goods about this whole Superwoman thing. How did women cram in so much in one day? Did they ever sleep? Did they have clones of themselves stored away in their closets?

There was just so much I wasn’t able to do, and here are the highlights of my secret shame.

I Stick My Head in The Sand When It Comes to My Kids’ Rooms

Stepping foot into either of my kids’ bedrooms is now enough to drive my blood pressure up — it goes up as fast at that game at carnivals when you hit the target with a hammer in an attempt to ring the bell.

I can feel the panic rising, especially if I have to kick things out of my path to make it to my destination. It’s a slap in the face, and a constant reminder of my failure as a housekeeper.

My kids try to make a hasty attempt to clean it up if they see me staggering out of their rooms like I’ve just survived some kind of severe trauma. In the meantime, I try to remind myself the futility of frequent room cleanings that will be just ransacked again as soon as the work is done.


The Yard Makes the House Look Abandoned

My yard makes me feel like I should send constant cards of sympathy to my neighbors because they sometimes truly do have my sympathy that they live near me.

I live in a neighborhood full of people who mow their yards once or twice a week and have their yards treated to prevent dandelions from growing.

I wish I had their time and their motivation. But I have busy, active kids, a full-time job and a big family who often needs favors from me. So I sometimes shirk my mowing duties, and it occasionally stretches out to two weeks.  

As for the dandelions, I don’t mind seeing them because they bring my kids joy. They think they are pretty flowers. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, after all.


Are These Frosted Windows?

I haven’t been able to see through some parts of my windows for a long time. Finding the time to wash windows when I can barely fit a dentist appointment in is kind of hard to do. They’re just windows after all — they’ll just keep getting dirty.

Besides, the idea of cleaning my child’s little handprints off the window breaks my heart. She loves standing there to see what’s happening outside in the neighborhood when she can’t go outside. And even more precious are the little lip marks she leaves on the window when she sees her dad walking past her on the sidewalk as he comes home from work. How can I wipe all that love off the window?

I don’t need to be Superwoman to the world. I just need to be a good mom to my kids and a person they’ll look up to throughout their lives.

Maybe We're Wrong About Perfection

I’ve come to a conclusion now that I’ve been a mom for a while. I don’t need to be Superwoman to the world. I just need to be a good mom to my kids and a person they’ll look up to throughout their lives.

My house is never going to be spotless. The yard will never fit in with the others in my neighborhood. That scrapbook I’ve planned to do for the past two years will probably never happen. And all that is okay. I’d rather spend that time with my child. I’ll take real over perfect any day.

Have you given up on the "perfect life"?

Contributing Author

About {Author}

Jenny is just another Mom trying to do her Best. She loves organizing things into lists and helping others find what they are looking for. When she isn’t using her powers to help her two kids find their missing socks, she enjoys watching movies with her husband and trying to stay fit. You can catch her giving actionable parenting advice and buyer’s guides on her blog, MomLovesBest.


  1. Living a perfect life must be really stressful. I really agree with you about this: mothers don’t need to be Superwoman, just being a mother to their kids is all what they need. Love your point of view a lot! Please share more story like this more! I enjoy reading it so much!