When my kids were ages 5, 3, and 1, I had my first of four back surgeries—in a span of six years. Those years are difficult to remember, as the chaos of our life was at times unbearable. After the first surgery, my recovery was a full 12 weeks, during which time I couldn’t lift anything heavier than a plate. Oh, yea, no problem. I just have three toddlers and I’m a stay-at-home mom. My entire job description is lifting things heavier than a plate. But I got this!
Without the people that came alongside our family and helped us in those very trying times, I’m not sure how we would’ve made it. And what’s even more surprising is how many of them were moms with littles, just like me.
Often we think of our fellow moms who are facing hard times—whether it’s infertility, miscarriage, surgery, cancer, long term illness, loss of a loved one, you name it—and we want to help, but we can’t imagine doing so amidst the juggling act of caring for our own family.
But I think you’d be surprised there are ways to help and love a friend in need without taking all day to make a gourmet meal, or watching someone’s kids for a week straight.
Helping doesn’t have to be hard, but take it from someone who knows: a little bit goes a long way.
3 Ways To Help... Even When You’re Busy
Do what you’re already doing.
No matter how hard or long our days are, we still have to go to Target, the grocery store, the pharmacy, the cleaners, the post office, or the mall. One easy way to help a friend is to offer to pick up the things she might need when you’re already going there yourself! Sure, it might require a few more items in your cart, but if you’re going anyway you can get your own errands done and help a friend at the same time.
Order dinner delivery.
We all have those days we can’t find two minutes to go to the bathroom, much less make dinner for our own people living in our own house! Which makes it even more difficult to fathom making something homemade for a friend in need.
When our family lost our precious pup to a coyote attack a few years ago, I’ll never forget my hubby’s co-worker texted and asked if they could have pizza delivered the next night. Now I know losing my dog doesn’t compare to some of the other monumental trials people face daily, but this small act of kindness impacted us immensely. We were shocked and sad, and his gesture of taking 10 minutes to get a time and our order in place was a true gift in those dark days that followed.
Find their favorite.
I’ve found very few people who don’t respond well to a gift that is thoughtfully chosen with the recipient in mind. But what we often miss is asking the simple question, “What is their favorite?” Favorites come in many forms: coffee, candy, movies, restaurants, guilty pleasures, snacks, desserts, take out foods, etc. Really anything can be a favorite. And if you don’t know them well, just ask some of their other friends or family—with the list above in mind.
This simple way to help a friend is to find their favorite and gift it to them. What makes this even easier these days is ordering that favorite on Amazon to be delivered!
During one friend’s long and arduous court battle, I kept seeing her post on Facebook about recipes with Flaming Hot Cheetos, (of all things!) I assumed she had an affinity for them, so with about five minutes of effort, I had them ordered on Amazon and sent to her home with a quick, funny note of encouragement. All I had to do was pay attention, and then act on it. Finding their favorites usually requires minimal effort, but yields maximum returns!
But I think you’d be surprised there are ways to help and love a friend in need without taking all day to make a gourmet meal, or watching someone’s kids for a week straight.
The truth is, any small gesture you make—whether it’s a grocery run, a delivered pizza or a gift of favorites—will make a huge dent in the mountain your friend is climbing. And let’s face it; mountains are best climbed with friends alongside.
For more practical ways to walk with your fellow moms through the rough patches of life, you can pick up a copy of Sarah Beckman’s, Alongside: A Practical Guide for Loving Your Neighbor in their Time of Trial, which released on February 14, 2017. www.alongsidebook.com
Guest Author
About {Sarah}
Sarah Beckman is an author and speaker, living in Albuquerque, NM with her husband, Craig, of 24 years. They have three delightful children ages 15, 18, and 20. Her experience on both sides of the bed—both being helped and helping others—provides her authentic viewpoint for her book, Alongside. When she’s not writing or speaking, you might find her in the kitchen creating something to share with a “neighbor” in need. She has a B.A. in Journalism from the University of Wisconsin and also works as a communications/speaking coach.
