We all have those days. Days where we feel invisible and unimportant. When the woman you were has faded into the background and the woman you are is hard to find under the messes and mayhem. Some days she feels defined by nothing more than the tasks she does throughout the day. A diaper changer, a dish washer, a chauffeur…nothing too glamorous or noble (or so it feels).
Some days she feels like all she has accomplished is failure. Her toddler still isn’t potty-trained, her preschooler has had more time-outs than she cares to admit, and truth be told, she probably deserves a timeout too for how she just reacted. Or maybe she’s working outside the home, and feels like she just can’t juggle it all anymore. Side note: if you feel like you have it all together, this post clearly isn’t for you.
Remember the WHY
I’ve been there a lot, sometimes daily. Those feelings tend to creep up when I’m solely focusing on what I’m doing (diapers, dishes, laundry, writing, teaching) and not remembering why I’m doing it (my love for my children, my desire to raise loving, contributing members of society, supporting my family, etc…). The task at hand is huge. The hours are long, and no one is getting paid overtime (like when your sick child keeps you up all night), or bonuses when little Johnny finally pees in the potty. You aren’t clocking in and out, you’re on the job all day long, and on call every night. With a schedule like this, It can be easy to become overwhelmed and blinded by the tasks at hand and not be able to see the bigger picture.
So in case you need reminding, here you go…You are doing amazing things. You are selflessly pouring your heart and soul into another, or perhaps multiple human beings. You are supporting them (especially in the early years) physically, emotionally, and mentally. What you are doing matters SO MUCH. It matters to your children, to society, and to the many people your children will interact with in the future.
What you are doing matters SO MUCH. It matters to your children, to society, and to the many people your children will interact with in the future.
Present Over Perfect
Are you doing it perfectly? Probably not, but thank God there is grace for that. They don’t need a perfect mom, they need a present one who doesn’t give up on them. Motherhood is a journey. It’s filled with ups and downs, triumphs and failures. They probably wont remember the diapers, the dishes, or (hopefully) the repetitive time-outs. What they will remember is that they were loved, day in and day out.
So the next time you feel like you’re day hasn’t produced much, or you feel like you’ve lost yourself and your purpose, look into those little eyes and remember why you do what you do. The focus isn’t found in the tasks, it’s much greater than that, it’s about them. Remember that you are much more than a dish washer, a diaper changer, or a chauffeur.
You are their mother and you are more valuable and visible than you will ever know.
Meet the Author
Amy grew up in the charming town of Amelia Island where she spent excessive amounts of time at the beach. She recently moved to St. Augustine with her husband and two little boys (4 and 1). She often drives race cars at Publix and is an expert at tying Superman capes and kissing boo-boos. Amy has a degree in Psychology and has worked in various positions helping children with special needs. In her spare time, you can find her listening to Pandora, drinking coffee, and working on her latest DIY project. She also has a love for all things vintage and shares all of her frugal finds on her blog, Vintage & Grace