We Remember Our Lost Babies :: Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness


Miscarriage. Stillbirth. Baby loss.

Like many of life’s tragedies, these are among so many things you don’t want to understand and can’t completely grasp until you’ve lived it.

The first time a friend had a miscarriage, I was at a loss for what to say, because I knew I didn’t understand. I could see and feel the sadness on her face and recognized that it was a sadness I didn’t know.

…And then it was me.

My Story Of Love and Loss.

Years later, as we walked through delivering two quiet babies at 20 weeks each, I understood on a level all too deep. I understood what it meant to grieve on a deeper level than I’d ever imagined. I knew what it meant to not be able to handle being in my own body, to feel I was losing myself along with my babies and to be unsure if I would make my way back to myself. Last week, we lost our last baby at 16 weeks and are reliving the entire experience all over again. This many losses is unfortunately not uncommon and the statistic of “1 in 4” does not mean that 25 percent of your friends have lost a baby, but that 25% of all pregnancies are lost.

The truth is that once you lose a baby, you are not the same. Each of your children, whether they make it to babyhood, childhood or adulthood, changes you. And while you have been rocked, changed, rearranged and never to be the same again, by their loss, something you never wanted, the change that happens in you doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

Most of all, we will remember your babies with you. Because they were with you once. And because they still and always will be in your heart.

infant loss and awareness - city moms blog network

The Club No One Wants To Join.

I will never be the same again. My lost babies, Hattie, Emerson and the baby we expected next March, have changed me for the better. Some days, it doesn’t at all feel that way and healing seems out of grasp and admittedly, I am again swimming in a grief that feels it may swallow me up. But I do know that I now have my radar up. I’ve joined a club I would have done anything to avoid, but my membership helps me to understand and connect with other moms who hurt the same pain I do. I never, ever want to welcome another mother to this club of ours. No one wants to join, everyone wishes they could turn back the clock and erase their membership card and acknowledging a new member is anything but celebratory. But once you’re in our club, we will rally with you. We will cry with you, sit with you, send you coffee, check in via text, agree with you on social media with likes and supportive comments on your hardest days and make sure you are not alone.

Most of all, we will remember your babies with you. Because they were with you once. And because they still and always will be in your heart. Two of my quiet babies are buried at a local cemetery, across town from where we live. Seeing their names on the wall with so many other babies made me realize that I wasn’t alone, and that they were forever marked. Forever Loved, our babies’ names are engraved for the world to know that they existed and marked our lives forever. Knowing the impact that had on me, I knew it had to be something available to all moms who have lost. We created a Forever Loved wall, where moms can list the names and dates of the babies they have lost, but that forever marked their lives.

Forever Loved.

If you’ve lost a baby, I can’t tell you the comfort that can come by simply telling the world they existed and having a place to do just that. You can find the Forever Loved walls around the country on our sister sites below.

And for you, Mama. Whether you hold your children earth-side or wait to meet them on the other side, YOU ARE a Mother. You loved them, they were in your heart and your life is forever changed because of them. My heart is with you today, as we all remember our lost babies.

Contributing Sister Site and Author

About {Beth}

Beth is the Co-Founder and Owner of Twin Cities Moms Blog.  She is Midwest born and raised and spent most of her childhood in Minnesota, going on to study Education at Bethel University in St. Paul. Prior to founding Twin Cities Moms Blog with a friend, she worked as a professional nanny and then at an executive search firm in downtown Minneapolis.  She has an excitement for being honest about what life as a mom entails, and bringing women together to find community and a place to support one another.  She is passionate about community, organization, local businesses and supporting moms.

She spends her days working from home full-time, learning to balance life as a working mom with three young children. She is Mommy to two girls – Sophia {6 years} and Evelyn {4 years}, and a sweet boy, Wesley {1 year} and is married to Dan. Beth is a sometimes runner, an avid baker, thrives on efficiency and is always ready to tackle any organization project you can throw at her.