Every year the holidays roar through like a freight train. We find ourselves consumed with the to-do’s necessary to pull off yet another magical experience for our families. We zip from our thirty-seventh store visits to the elementary school musical and back to the store. While we check items off our list, many of us forget one crucial thing. Ourselves.
The holiday season holds our brains hostage and we forgo good rest and nutritious food. We aren’t as likely to move our bodies intentionally because we’re on the holiday treadmill of tasks. Hobbies take a backseat. As far as the eye can see, moms are holding on for dear life until we are washed back onto the shores of normal, everyday life. By the time we have properly neglected our own needs, we’re ready to roll out the dreaded resolutions for a new year.
How can we make successful, life-giving resolutions? Is there a way to commit to something that actually makes a change for the better?
What Resolutions Shouldn’t Be
The average resolution has a shelf-life of 1-2 months. Take a classic example. Gyms everywhere are bursting with people at the beginning of January. Those who resolve to up their fitness level pour through the doors in dogmatic masses. By the time February rolls around, though, the herd has thinned. It’s difficult to sustain interest or stamina when you’ve done a total about-face and made drastic changes to your lifestyle.
To go from little-to-no exercise and devote to a five-day-a-week gym routine can easily end in frustration. Maintaining a lofty resolve, coupled with the daily demands of life, sets many people up for failure.
Resolutions shouldn’t be so drastic that they are unrealistic for your lifestyle or pace of life.
Resolutions also shouldn’t be many in number. I get it. There are plenty of changes we’d like to make in ourselves or in the way we live our lives. But quality over quantity is the key.
The more resolutions you make, the less time and energy can be given to each one. Your attention is spread thin.
One or two resolutions, at most, give you a greater chance at success. For the past few years, I’ve pinpointed one aspect of my physical health and one of my spiritual health I wanted to change. This year I decided to lift weights three times a week.
I was also interested in faster running times, but knew my daily commitments of family, work, and managing the house couldn’t compete with two big health goals. Strength training felt like it would be the most beneficial for me in my current stage of life so I made a choice between the two.
Our lives are full. Don’t overload yourself with a long list of resolutions you can’t keep.
What Resolutions Should Be
Changing my mindset about how I approach resolutions has made a world of difference in my success rate. People often make resolutions with the “no more” or “I won’t” framework. Making a life change from a negative standpoint can make your decision feel like a punishment instead of an opportunity for growth.
Look for activities you’d like to try. Think of areas within a relationship where saying “yes” would bring richness to the bond. The old adage of telling yourself you get to exercise instead of having to exercise applies to resolutions. You get to make changes and do something new!
Resolutions should be made with flexibility in mind.
Life is not static. We ebb and flow through seasons, some more trying than others. When you make a resolution, hold it with an open hand. If an aspect of your new decision is affected by tricky circumstances, it is perfectly acceptable to modify the resolution. Better to re-evaluate and pivot than give up. Remember my weight training? I had several months of success lifting in our garage. I felt great! Then the summer heat arrived and turned my workout space into a sauna. I couldn’t use the garage to exercise. The next couple of months were stagnant as I tried to figure out my next move. I didn’t want to give up. I enjoyed strength-training. I eventually joined a local rec center. With the help of climate-control, I was able to resume my commitment.
The Value of Perseverance and Grace
Seeing something through may end up looking different than the original vision we had in mind. Instead of an end goal, it’s the way we carry ourselves and press on during the resolution that has the greatest value.
To keep going with something new means knowing when to show yourself grace and when to tailor the resolution to be able to continue on.
Resolutions are made when we see a need for change.
Change doesn’t have to be a punishment, but is, rather, an opportunity for growth and development. Being realistic with your circumstances, keeping it simple, and giving yourself grace can open the door to a quality of life you’ve been waiting for!
