Tag: real life
I’ll just get it out of the way and say it up front: I was hugely unpopular as a kid. I was the nerd, the kid that got bullied, all of it. For that reason, and also for the fact that I’m just a nice person who believes in being nice to other people, I was determined not to have adulthood turn out like that for me.
We all do it. We have those things that we tell ourselves during certain situations to help us to remain calm or at least not bite the head off of our children or significant others. Over the years, I have slowly shifted from, “You are driving me crazy, why can’t you do anything right” to “Breathe, you’ve got this”.
Are you in the midst of a life change? Maybe you’re adding a sibling to your family. Or you or your significant other recently had a job change. Or a job loss. Or you’re going through a move. Do you feel like you’re in the midst of mayhem? Like you have no idea how to keep yourself sane, let alone your family, in all of the chaos?
The truth is that once you lose a baby, you are not the same. Each of your children, whether they make it to babyhood, childhood or adulthood, changes you. And while you have been rocked, changed, rearranged and never to be the same again, by their loss, something you never wanted, the change that happens in you doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
Yes, you - precious mom friend trying to hold it together today. Yes, you - my other dear pal trying to balance life without kiddos. You both are so special to me. We all have so much in common, and yet so much not in common. No worries, my lovelies, I will not pretend to know what it is like to be you, I will not pretend that I know what it’s like to be in your shoes. For the sake of our autonomy as women, I cannot. I will not.
Five years ago when I was 3 months pregnant with my first daughter, my mom passed away. Just like that, she was gone. It was the worst day of my life, it felt like the world caved in on me. What was supposed to be the happiest time of my life was clouded by the sad realization that I was going to experience motherhood without the person I needed the most by my side. I naturally always imagined that she would be there when I had my own children, it was unbearable to accept the fact that I had to do this without her.
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