Dear Mama. Dear Friend.
Yes, you – precious mom friend trying to hold it together today. Yes, you – my other dear pal trying to balance life without kiddos. You both are so special to me. We all have so much in common, and yet so much not in common. No worries, my lovelies, I will not pretend to know what it is like to be you, I will not pretend that I know what it’s like to be in your shoes. For the sake of our autonomy as women, I cannot. I will not.
I will empathize. I will be your sounding board. I will brainstorm with you. I will hug you. I will deliver you a random Starbucks. I will tell you it’s alright, or in fact that you are losing your marbles. I will wipe your kiddos bottom while you run to the store. I will pick up your mail while you are traveling to the beach. I will deliver meals when that hard time hits. But no worries, I will not tell you I know what it’s like. I won’t pretend that I understand what it’s like to have twins. I won’t say I ‘get it’ when you mention that your husband is never home for dinner. I won’t shake my head with all the ‘yesses’ when you mention how hard it is to date in your 30s. I won’t act like I know how it feels to lose multiple pregnancies.I won’t say that you need to settle for that dude you just met. I will not say I know what it’s like to be in your shoes. For the sake of our friendship, I cannot. I will not.
I will love you. I will text you way too many times in a one hour period to talk about something totally random. I will pray for you. I will try to help you problem solve through a random health scare. I will meet you out for a drink and a pedicure. I will talk about the good ole days. I will cover for you when the time comes. I will hold you accountable. I will sit on your couch amidst piles of laundry. I will grab your kiddos’ hand before they run into the street. I will not say I know what it’s like to be in your shoes. For the sake of my respect for you, I cannot. I will not.
I hope you empathize with me. I hope you will tell me this too shall pass. I hope you will tell me to calm it down and get it together. I hope you will just listen to me vent when I am having a crappy parenting day. I hope you will celebrate with me when I am in the midst of some amazing successes. I hope you understand when it is just not a good time to talk. I hope you realize I cannot always plan ahead. I hope you get that nothing is predictable. I do not expect you to know what it’s like to be in my shoes. I cannot. I will not.
I will sit on your couch amidst piles of laundry. I will grab your kiddos hand before they run into the street. I will not say I know what it’s like to be in your shoes. For the sake of my respect for you, I cannot. I will not.
We are sister-friends, we are women. We are ladies who think we have it all together and we don’t. We are mamas, we are singles, we are childless, we are hopeful, we are hopeless. Let’s cherish each other. We are mamas who want to pull our hair out, all while wanting to cuddle close to our littles. We are friends who just want to sit in the grass and talk about that first fraternity party we went to 12 years ago. We are acquaintances who only see each other when we run into each other at Kroger. We are park frequenters, and park avoiders. We are who we are. We can wish. We can want. We can imagine. But we cannot know exactly what it is like to be in each other’s shoes.
Let us fly together. Soar together. Support together. To all my ladies out there. Let’s love on each other.
Contributing Sister Site and Author
I’m Stephanie, mother of 2 little ladies, photographer, occupational therapist, small health business owner, adjunct faculty member, and university guest lecturer. This mama LOVESSS her hometown of Dayton, Ohio and is never leaving! I am a UD men’s basketball junkie who loves roasted broccoli, almond butter, and cold water (not all together mind you). I heart my lil Kettering slab home, exercising and enjoy exploring local, trying new foods, new parks, library time, pedicures, and I follow a strict ‘flip flops until the first snow’ rule. So don’t judge. I have either been pregnant or breastfeeding non stop since 2011 – so ask me anything about either one of those topics and I am sure I can give you some sort of (comical) insight! My heart is with serving others, and I have had the opportunity to serve on church mission trips to Montana twice, and on occupational therapy mission trips to Guatemala twice. To say my dream family vacation to Guatemala would be half true, and half false, because we all know lounging on the beach with just your husband trumps just about anything.